I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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