For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
