note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
