hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
