i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
