As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
