I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
