first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
