I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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