i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
