all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
