no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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