Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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