What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
True strength comes from lack of pants
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize