That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
