I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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