i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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