How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
is that a dick in a sweater?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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