we have officially lost it.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
