I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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