Need sex. Gaining weight.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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