My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
