I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
