saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i came on her dog
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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