Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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