North Korea, Best Korea!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
