Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You made out with two different species that night
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize