if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
