WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
