Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
