Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
