I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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