shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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