At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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