she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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