He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
