I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
