So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
