I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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