My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
someone owes me an orgasm
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
