so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
