Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
