You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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