i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sext me about skeletons
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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