How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
