do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
