I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
