It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Let's paint friendship bongs
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize