sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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