omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
