I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
