Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
