Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
