If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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