Moan for me like Helen Keller
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
