somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
