i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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