meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
