don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
