last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
