There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
