so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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