she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
