Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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